I feel it is important to introduce you to my boss, The Woman, Madam Lilith Leticia Tillulli (of the McButt dynasty).
She came to me in 2020 as a tiny piece of scraggly string and screamed at me ’til I let her in, a dynamic which continued until her previous owner moved away and basically said “Here you go, she likes you”. I felt bad at first but after spending several hundred quid getting rid of her rampant parasites and seeing just how much she didn’t want to be an outdoor cat / how much she loved being an indoor one, I’m very glad she spotted my pushover ass. She’s ridiculously wise and cunning and frequently manages to lure me from my seat with feigned problems, only to steal it and smugly delight in the accumulated butt warmth, knowing I’m too much of a chump to claim it back.. however her spatial awareness is bullshit and I’ve had to baby proof corners so she doesn’t shatter on impact with anything.. beautiful dumbass.
“I would kill for her. I would die for her. Either way, what bliss.”
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